All This Time

Contrary to what they show on television, Junno and Jin have a good relationship. And Junno is contented keeping that relationship a secret…

"You're drunk again…" Junno lectured as he pulled up Jin's shirt.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Jin whinned, not moving from his position making it harder for Junno to undress and clean him.

Junno just sighed wiping Jin's flushed body with a damp towel. "You're making me worry though." He mumbled but mostly to himself.

Jin smirked and pulled him for a kiss…

Junno briefly pulled away. "Jin, your drunk."

"I don't have to be drunk for you." Jin answered seductively taking Junno's clothes off. "What are you waiting for? Take me…"

"Huh?"

"Don't play stupid. I'm letting you top, move faster before I change my mind."

With that, Junno let go of all hesitation. Raising Jin's legs, he thrusted in with abandon.

Jin held tight on the sheets, eyes shut closed as his mouth produced sounds of mind-blowing sex…

Junno leaned down to kiss him, but Jin moved his head away. Junno wanted to stop. Jin wasn't into it, but Jin still arched up pumping his own manhood.

Junno continued thrusting, only caring for Jin's satisfaction.

Jin bit his lip… his cum projecting from his manhood. He opened his eyes and looked at Junno for the first time that night. His vision was blurry, eyes wet from tears he kept from falling.

Junno groaned as he came, looking lovingly at the sight of his drunk lover and Jin pulled him for a hug.

Junno sighed and let himself be wrapped in the other's arms…

"Jin.." He whispered still concerned.

"Sshh… I love you…after all this time, I still do… Kazu." Jin kissed the back of Junno's head before falling asleep.

Junno's tears began to fall… "It's still him in your heart after all…"

 

It's been a month since that incident happened, and Jin still didn't change. If he is sober, their relationship is ok, but when his drunk, Junno kept his distance. To the point he sleeps in their guest room. And it's good for him that Jin seems not to notice this. His attitude on the set or studio or rehearsals didn't change much. But of course, it can't be helped that someone will eventually notice.

The time came that Junno, himself, stays back before going home. He can't. It hurts to know that even though their relationship was a secret, he can't help but be lonely. Going home to the most precious person in his life, but is not in love with you… it just like cutting your heart with a butcher's knife over and over. So before everything blows up, he made an excuse from Jin that he needs to go home to his family and take care of his sick mother. And Jin believed him.

Jin never noticed that a long period of time has already passed that Junno went home to stay with his parents. He never noticed because his mind is always on someone else. But since Jin and Junno work together, it was not a problem that Junno doesn't stay in their shared apartment. Things became noticeable little by little to Jin. Things like during lunch time, Junno will be going with the other members not with him. Or even when going home, instead of waiting for their other band mates to leave the room so that they can share good bye kisses, but no, Junno will be the first one out, and not even waving good bye to him. No more talking constantly to him, nor bothering him with his stupid jokes. He just stays in one corner, pull out his game or will be out the room somewhere, or just sleep on the chair in the middle of photo shoots or pv makings. The lack of Junno being in constant 'pain' to get his attention, were all gone.

Jin can't figure out why, just then another information hit him like a bullet. Junno is not living with him anymore. It's been over a month that he has to help his 'sick mother.' So he went to visit the Taguchi household that certain day. Only to find out that Junno was not staying there, but in his own apartment. He ran home to find all of Junno's clothes and other things were all gone. 'How did this happen? When did it happen? I never noticed.' He thought.

The following day, he looked at Junno with questioning eyes, but the other just looked away. 'He just figured it out… after so long, just now.' Junno thought. Tears start to form in his eyes, and he can't let anyone see it. No one should it, for their relationship was a secret, right? He excused himself from his friends calmly. Jin followed behind, intending to know what is going on.

Junno abruptly stopped in the middle of the hall way without turning his head. "Please stop following me."

"Why? What did I do to you?"

"Just go back inside, I'll be back."

"I can't…I want to know what's going on. And why do you have your own apartment?" Confusion in his voice.

"Simple… I've let you go Jin. So you can find your happiness. Because I know it's not with me." Tears flowed from his eyes.

"I… I don't understand."

"Kame…"

With that, Jin was silenced. A few dreading seconds passed before Junno finally accepted that he hit the right spot. And walked silently away from the man he loved the most.

Practice still went well. Everyone was gathering their things when their door opened. Pi entered with Ryo and Tacchon. Everyone greeted each other.

"Hey Jin, hurry up… we'll be late." Pi said.

"Yeah, K8 are already waiting at the bar for some drinks." Ryo added, then turned to Ohkura. "I thought you're not coming along, what are you doing here?"

"Oh… I'm here to pick up Junno." He turned to the said man. "Jun, let's go. We'll be late for our reservation."

"Hold on…" Picked up his bag and approached Tacchon.

The other hugged him and took his bag. "Bye guys… see you all tomorrow."

Jin almost fainted. 'What the hell just happened? He already replaced me?'

 

That night, Jin went home feeling more down for the first time in his life. He doesn't even know how he lost two people in his life. Kame doesn't feel the same way as him. A year being with Junno, yet he still held Kame in his heart. 'How did Junno even knew?' He asked himself. He recalled the late moments he had with Junno. Thinking as to how Junno would know such secret. He never mentioned Kame to him ever. And then he remembered that the last time he was drunk, he woke up without Junno be his side. But never bothered with it. But now, things that happened, he recalls and recalls. Straining his mind, he remembered all. He can't imagine the pain and suffering he gave Junno. Him knowing that Jin doesn't love him whole heartedly, still stayed with him for a year before he finally gave up on their relationship. He sighed and thought how big a jerk he was.

Time went by so fast, that three months had already passed their way. And in those three months, Jin just looked at Junno from far away. Talking was not necessary since the younger kept his distance. Everybody saw these, but no one said anything. Not that they didn't care, but it was obvious everytime they open their mouth about the current avoidance of the two, they just say almost the same thing… 'there's nothing to talk about'… sort of lines. And in those long three months, Jin breathe easily knowing that there was nothing going on with Ohkura and HIS Junno.

Yes, he still considered Junno His. He thought, since he never gave consent to their break up, they were just cooling off before he get takes back what is his. And that is Junnosuke Taguchi.

He was good at finding out informations about what is happening with the other. Why? Easy, Junno was his. And Pi and Ryo knew these, when he cried to them about losing the guy. They were surprised to say the least, because they never saw the two being close like the Akame. They just talk when needed, but never actually knew they were intimately close. And he spilled his guts telling them how Kame rejected him long ago.

So things were not actually going to the path Jin actually wanted it to go. And when Kame heard the news about the real score of his two band mates, he got concerned. Since recently, Jin and Junno are being paired up again in their dances and photo shoots. He talked to Jin about it. And Jin actually told him the problem. And Kame was surprised that his best friend, yes they are still best friends after rejecting the older one, that he was an idiot and stupid guy. And lectured him. Lectured him how Junno always stood by his side whatever rumors or faults that came about him, and he just took him for granted.

Jin laid down on his bed thinking. His brain was not cooperating for he was, yet again, drunk. And no one was there to look after him. And that night, he dreamt, about how Junno was always there. Taking care of him, taking care of everything the younger one could do to make him comfortable and always at peace. Then a scene of Junno telling him that let him go to find his happiness. That time, he woke up, panting. Heart beating fast. Sweating. His head aching, his stomach wants to leave him. He doesn't actually feel like throwing up, but the mere fact that he heard again the words Junno told him a few months ago of letting go and finding his happiness…his stomach did a tumble. He finally realized how happy he was when Junno was by his side. How at peace he felt, and how he misses the times when the other tries to do everything to cheer him up when his down. How easily he composes his songs, because the younger's encouragement makes him happy.

Yes, he finally realized how happy he was when Junno is with him, by his side. So he decided he will do everything to get him back. And this time, no more secrets.

 

Junno, on the other hand, never forgot his love for the older one. Jin is still his most precious one. But he can't help but feel lonely that whatever he did, he is not the person Jin loves. And putting up his wall was the only way to avoid being hurt by the other. Or so he thought. He misses the other. Whenever he is at home, he always thought if Jin got enough sleep, or did he eat well, or who takes care of him when he comes home drunk. But he still thinks that he is not the right person for it. And that makes him lonely everytime.

 

Junno walked out of his apartment in a hurry, because he woke up late, and stepped on something outside his door. He picked it up and saw it was a bouquet of white roses. There was a card only saying 'I Love You', but no sender's name. He was confused of who may sent it, but nonetheless, he put it inside his apartment and left. He dismissed it from his mind, and went to the Jimusho.

He got there panting. Everyone was looking at him, including Jin. After apologizing, he put down his bag on his chair and saw another bouquet of white flowers on his desk. He looked at everyone and shook their heads, while Jin was busy reading a magazine. He took a good look and saw a card which said, 'I Miss You.' He was confused again of who would send him the flowers. Then their assistant manager called them to practice. And the flowers were forgotten again.

After practice, everyone took turns in the shower, and Jin was the first to go and Junno was the last. The younger one picked up his bag and a single white rose fell. He looked around and saw no one in the room but him. He placed the flower inside the bouquet from earlier and took it home with him.

For the past week, the flowers kept coming. All white, all bouquets and some in long stems. He was really getting confused for the card will on say 'I Love You' or "I Miss You' and nothing else. And since the second day he receives them, his heart beats faster. Making him hope that the person who is sending them is someone with the name of Akanishi Jin. But everytime he looks at the said person, Jin will be talking to Kame, the other band members, or busy with other things. And all these things make him sigh heavily, losing hopes that it was his love.

One day after practice, Junno was the one left again. After changing into his street clothes he walked to the door, when he opened it, a long stem white rose was, too near for his liking, on his face. And he saw the person behind the flower.

"Jin…" In a surprised, but soft voice.

The other smiled at him before saying, "Have dinner with me, please."

Junno took the flower and smelled it. Holding a straight face and answered, "Why?"

"Because I want to celebrate my birthday with you, and ONLY you."

The other took a few seconds before saying yes.

 

They went to Junno's favorite restaurant and ate both their favorite foods. The silence was not deafening, but a comfortable one. No words were exchange, for they both understood each other. That was one thing Jin found out himself, that he never have to say anything for Junno to know what he needs. But now, he has to say something for Junno to know how he feels.

"I Love You and I Missed You So Much Than You could ever imagine. And Kame… Kame will always remin in my heart for he is my friend. My best friend. But I don't love him like how I used too. And I found out the hard way that you by my side, is more important than anything in this world. And the words 'I Love You' is not enough for me to express how I truly felt for you. And I'm hoping that you will let me… let me make you feel my true feelings of love for you. I've regretted you and took you for granted, I'm sorry. And the happiness I was looking for was, and always have been by my side. And that is you… Junnosuke Taguchi." Jin said these word with utmost sincerity that Junno has never seen in his eyes. And he never took his stare away for the man his do love after all.

Junno was speechless, and tears ran down his face while the other confessed to him. He could never be more happier than what he is feeling right now.

And that night, they shared their love with each other. Letting Junno feel that he is indeed the most loved and precious person for Jin. Both felt bliss, happiness and eternal love for each other. And Jin has never felt more contented than being in the arms of the man he wants to spend his whole life with. And his birthday would never be the same again.

The following day…

"So Junno… did you ever find out who had been sending you the flowers?" Koki asked when he sat by his side and placed his hand on the younger's shoulder.

"Oh yeah, I did actually." Giving his oh so famous smile.

"So, who did?" Yuichi asked too.

Junno can't answer since he knew that his and Jin's relationship should be kept a secret from everyone, including their band mates.

Just then Jin came in and saw that Koki and Yuichi are interrogating his love. And Koki's arms are on the younger's shoulder. He marched towards them with a fake smile on his face that shocked the first three. And Junno was scared because he knows how Jin can be possessive and jealous.

Jin took Koki's arm lightly, removing it from Junno. Sat on the younger's lap, and kissed Junno passionately on the lips. The two stared with mouths open wide from shock.

"Baby…" Jin pulled another long stem white rose from his back pocket and gave it to Junno, not before kissing the flower. "..this is for you. I hope you got the others before you left your apartment."

Junno shyly smiled and nodded. He took the flower and peck Jin on the lips. "Thank you."

 

"All this time, I was too stupid to admit that it was you and only you that I needed to be happy. You are my Special Happiness."

 

Junno looked at Jin and smiled. Jin was surprising… he took a bold move of showing their friends that he was with Junno. This time, their relationship was based on honesty and openness. And this melted the other's heart and fell in love with him all over again.